Everything's Messed Up

I don't want to choose.
Choose between two really nice guys, that I like.
Choose one of them to be mine.
To be loved by them 'till the end of time.
To have hope in love.

I'm in between.
It's really hard to choose
When you have other things
That happened before and will happen.
I can make conclusions, but I'll never be sure.

I don't want to make the same mistake again.
But, I don't want to regret what I've done.
Choosing one of them means,
Leaving the other behind.
How could I do so?
When they both love me...

I'm in the middle of losing a figure.
An important one in my life.
He's getting tired of me and maybe bored too.
I never want that to happen.
It's like one of my nightmares coming true.
He's almost gone now, but I don't know what to do.

He might be tired of my life.
Since he found a new one to fill in.
I hope she'll treat him right.
I hope he's happy.
I hope she's happy.
I hope they'll last forever.

I might be crying right now.
But, that's alright
As long as I don't do anything stupid
I'm just so stress and overwhelmed by all of this.
I really wish I could take things slower, one at a time.
But, I know life's too buys to be slow.

The Rocky Road of Life

As we all know, life is not easy at all. It has it's up and downs in any time. We can say it as bad or good luck, but some of them are determine by our actions. If you did something bad and you feel the guilt, then you're consider as a normal person. But if it's the opposite, then obviously you don't have any heart/feelings.

If you did some mistakes, don't mourn about it for such a long time. Get a grip and move on! I know it's hard because I'm feeling it right now. Losing someone who was so important to you (not because of death though), you'll feel like you're left out by your friends, or you'll feel like you're no one. Since, you used to be 'someone' to that someone. You used to be special.

Right now, I'm feeling the teenager feeling. The growing up feeling. Now I have to make decisions and face the truth a lot harsher. Well, I'm still so young and so I have all the rights to say all of that, it's called the freedom of speech.

When someone else is replacing you as the special one for your someone, obviously you'll feel like they're better than you and thought that it's the reason why they left. I tried to think positive but, when it has gotten into you really badly, what can you do but cry?

There's nothing wrong with crying. It doesn't make you look weak. If you feel better by crying then do it. Let all your emotions out through all your tears.

Romance Problems Are Not Easy.

Ellooo! :D

In my life I have romance problems, they're not commitment issues or something like that. They're more like having a jerk as a boyfriend or having a Long Distance Relationship when actually the person that I'm dating actually lives in the same neighborhood as I do. It's weird and complicated.

But I know that in this life, there are more romance problems that are more complicated than mine. I realize that.

Love can be so confusing. Like right now it's making my head spinning and my heart beating in a split second. It's confusing because I love a guys who rarely cares about me, show me his affection, and he really likes to neglect me like I'm not a part of his life. But still, I love him.

There's actually a guy who's so much better than him but still, my heart chooses him. That's really confusing alright.

Somehow, I can't seem to forget him and just move on. He kind of hurt me for the last 3 months and well, my heart is quite fragile so I sort of want to keep it in one piece.

I don't know if it's me who's over-reacting or is it him who needs to fix himself.

Life itself is confusing how about it's content? Love, Happiness, Problems, and everything else that's mix together to create Life. 

~My Life Journey

Life

Life is truly hard, full of mountains to climb and to reach to the top, we'll have obstacles. Everybody knows that, but no one will know when the obstacles will come and when we'll reach the top.

Life is not simple, it's complex. It's full of happiness mix with sadness or pain and mix with curiosity and other things you can imagine of. Happiness is really hard to find in this cruel world, in my opinion. Some says that happiness is totally the opposite, it's really easy to find and feel. But in my life, it's truly hard.

Sometimes I'll get the fake happiness which is fake laughs that I had with fake people. Fake smiles that I share with fake people too. Almost everything about my life happiness are fake. I don't even know they're fake, but I just deal it with, accept it.

Today is a harsh day. Apparently, my mom dislikes so much that she is brave enough to take away happiness, half of it. My happiness over here is my gadgets. They're my whole life and if someone dares to sell them, I'll probably cry for weeks and just lose my mind. And I mean it.

Some people don't understand why I'm all about gadgets. They do make me look like I'm a lazy person, but deep inside, what I do with my gadgets make me happy. I write stories with gadgets, I socialize by my gadgets, and I listen to music which is my way to just forget about all those mountains that I'm about face in my life.

However, my mom seems to disagree with it. Right now, I'm missing one of my 4 gadgets. This gadget allows me to do skype which basically let me socialize with my fellow friends. I'm not sure if they're fake or not, but I guess time will tell.

I'm really worried that I'll say goodbye to this special gadget because it allows me to access line, Skype, Instagram, games that I buy with my own money and other applications. If you still don't understand my feelings and think that I'm such a ridiculous person then, you have all the rights about it.

It's like when you're so in love or attach to a thing or things and just all of a sudden that thing/things is/are gone, how do you feel? Or maybe when you truly love someone and that someone is taken away from you, how do you feel?

If you feel what I feel then you understand and probably you won't think that I'm ridiculous, and I thank you for that.

So you see, happiness is one of the mountains in our life. Happiness is the top/peak of the mountain that we need to climb. Right now, I'm dealing with one of the hardest obstacle in my life. A broken heart is not what I'm worried about, but having happiness gone is on the top of my list.

And I just have to deal with it. If God says that my gadgets need to be taken away from me, then so be it. But if I can still just delay it for a couple of months or weeks then, I'll be grateful for those wonderful days.

I can never understand about my weirdness of crying over gadgets, but if it's who I am, then it will be the thing that describe me.

~Dara

I Think You're Mad At Me

From your tweets...it's obvious, but what I want to know is....What did I do?? Just tell me that she's not me, but you won't, so it's obvious that she's me...

I'm sorry for anything or maybe everything that I did to you. I'm a jerk to you. I'm a bitch to you. I'm sorry. But it kills me to read what you tweet. The pain lingers in my heart.

I just want to know who she is....

Please let me know so I can calm a little and live a little....
Please...
Please...
Please..

Back!

Hello guys!!!

I'm back and I miss posting in my blog so much! I've been busy with school and......my stories in wattpad!!!
That's right i have an account in wattpad and I have my own story! If you guys want to read it just search mu account name which is daraayu just as simple as that! Don't forget to vote my story. add to your reading list if you guys have an account, fan me, and comment! I love comment so don't hesitate to comment!

Bye guys! xx-